the reality.

this pressure is piling up on me, till I find it nauseating.

sch is coming to an end in Sep, if I pass I will graduate officially and say gd bye to my student role. every1 in the family is telling me the same tink, "go and get a full time job quickly, your brother is losing his job, its ur turn nw to support the family."

this was nt wat I picture my life to be, slogging and working like madness, ending up like my bro.I don't want to end up like him.losing his gf, sacrificing his chance to get married, because he chose to finance me in my education his gf couldn't wait and left him, his entire life, slogging for the family, and I just learnt that there is no "hao ren you hao bao", good man does not get wat he deserve.he is still single nw at 30 yers old, his life is fucked up, and he always say "nothing you all do can compensate what I have lost" to my parents.everytime I see him, my heart bled.

alas, now its my turn.

every1 tinks Im a spoilt brat with tons of suitors or men showering me with gifts and cash, that I have nothing to ask for, that Im some princess who shop til no $ then find modelling jobs to earn some income to continue my shopping spree.

fact of a matter, I admit Im in my comfort zone and find it hard to get out of that vicious cycle. I have an advantage to get better paid jobs than others (modelling jobs/dance shows). sex sells, if you got the looks and all, you get better paid jobs.that is the ugliness of reality. but I choose my jobs wisely, for that, my family and bf is proud of me.

while all the other gals scribble on their wishlist filled with Chanel,Gucci, LV bags, the latest mobile and laptops. All I wish, is that I can get a well paid job in my area of interest which is events management,advertising,Public Relations,sales and marketing.

because I now my life is fucked up enough, the least I wish, is to have a job that I enjoy, that I can still smile knowing that I slog so hard for a job that I enjoy, instead of slogging hard and doing sometink I dreaded.

I cant imagine how life would be in days to come.